i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Randomize