i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize