I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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