I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
