I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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