can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I will be naked everywhere
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
