he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
