So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
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