Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
you had me at cake vodka
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
