just tell him i said nine months
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
