Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Randomize
