Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
