i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
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