yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
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dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
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The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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