Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Shame - the story of my life.
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