This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Randomize
