My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
