just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I checked into jail on foursquare
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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