if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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