i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Your penis caused this!
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
