I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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