I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
