Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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