Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize