Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
