So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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