he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
