You're completely useless in the revolution.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
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