You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Randomize
