okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Randomize
