Heybabeimwearingurpanties
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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