I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
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Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
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THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
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