I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
