You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize