Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Randomize
