i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Randomize
