She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
