I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
