Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
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