she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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