I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
