I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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