Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Randomize