Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
