How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
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