trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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