forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Randomize
