It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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