I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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