I like to think it a success when the cops are called
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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