I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Randomize
