If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
