so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
