Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
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