My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
