yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
