im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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