The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
