benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
