Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
