This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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