I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
i drank out of a bidet.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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